Yes: These are my darling children. Yes: Joshua is tied up to the bedpost and being held hostage. Yes:it was a game they were playing, but to be completely honest...It was nice to have the little bugger incapacitated for awhile! I am feeling at a loss with Joshua. He turned four last week, and I remember four being a great age with my other kids. Jaycie and Nicholas had their own phases/behavior issues for sure, but they always obeyed me when it came down to the serious threats/looks/etc. Joshua is a completely different story. He is CHALLENGING. He doesn't listen. He disobeys me all the time. He cries and whines A LOT. He is also hilarious, sweet, and loves to snuggle with me. I have felt like I was a pretty good mom with amazing kids. People always compliment my children's behavior and manners. NOT WITH JOSHUA! I am using the same techniques and methods as my earlier two, so why isn't it working?! I know that every kid is different. I know that some kids are just more spirited than others. But I could use some advice with this one. Books, methods, rewards, punishments...any ideas are welcome!
Monday, March 28, 2011
It's Come To This
Yes: These are my darling children. Yes: Joshua is tied up to the bedpost and being held hostage. Yes:it was a game they were playing, but to be completely honest...It was nice to have the little bugger incapacitated for awhile! I am feeling at a loss with Joshua. He turned four last week, and I remember four being a great age with my other kids. Jaycie and Nicholas had their own phases/behavior issues for sure, but they always obeyed me when it came down to the serious threats/looks/etc. Joshua is a completely different story. He is CHALLENGING. He doesn't listen. He disobeys me all the time. He cries and whines A LOT. He is also hilarious, sweet, and loves to snuggle with me. I have felt like I was a pretty good mom with amazing kids. People always compliment my children's behavior and manners. NOT WITH JOSHUA! I am using the same techniques and methods as my earlier two, so why isn't it working?! I know that every kid is different. I know that some kids are just more spirited than others. But I could use some advice with this one. Books, methods, rewards, punishments...any ideas are welcome!
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If you find something that works, let me know because Dean sounds EXACTLY like that. The only way I can get him to do anything is by warning him about losing privileges (computer, wii, tv) and following through. It doesn't always work, and it may be losing it's effectiveness, but boy I am at a loss sometimes. I'm actually going to start him in a preschool with a teacher I know and trust (and is amazing with this age group) just so I can have her assess his behavior and help me know what to do! I have heard Raising the SPirited child is a good book, though I haven't yet read that one. http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Perceptive/dp/0060923288
haha. I'm just now reading the book "preview" and I'm thinking I need to get this book! =)
Okay, I think that Joshua and Taylor are twins. Katie is my good listener, but when it comes to Taylor, she is always pushing the limits. I need advice too...
Oh, Melissa, I burned through a million parenting books when my #2 came along. Spirited doesn't even being to describe her! I LOVE that kid. Some things I tried NEVER worked, but one book I highly recommend is Parenting With Love and Logic (ages Birth-6 years). It's terrific. (I've heard their courses are worth every penny.) The book gives you great coping mechanisms and ways to deal with behavioral issues WITHOUT getting sucked in emotionally. I think you'll love it.
Another book is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. The title says it all. It has to you practice conversations so you can react in a way that is motivating to your child. I'll have to look through my other books and get you more titles.
Honestly, it's still a battle with #2 some days but mostly it's not. Of course it took about SEVEN years to get to a more peaceful place, but it really does all seem a distant memory now. :) I thought I'd NEVER say that. One thing I learned is what worked for #1 didn't necessarily work for #2--I had to learn to parent all over again. They each had things that motivated them, although #2 had the most stick-to-it-ness. She would dig in her heels about something and it would be two hours before she'd relent. Many times what I wanted her to do never, ever happened. I had to learn to let things go and pick my battles. She could have cared less what I took away or did. She is the only one out of my four children that I have spanked (VERY rarely) because it was the only thing that would get through to her. She needed limits (and still does) and functions much better when they are enforced. She was always very contrite after getting a spank--maybe only four times a year, if that--and it truly changed her behavior. Strange, but true. It's not my style of parenting AT ALL, but it was effective when used rarely.
Best of luck. Each kid really does come with their own amazing personality. I truly believe that kids need their spunk and sass to survive in this world. It is the sweet, good-natured ones that worry me the most. Seriously.
Hey lady I miss you but dont know how to call ya. Call me so we can catch up. 6266983343. The kiddos are so big, where does the time fly??
Hey lady I miss you but dont know how to call ya. Call me so we can catch up. 6266983343. The kiddos are so big, where does the time fly??
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